Hello, I Speak Americanese (pron. Ŭ-mare-ee-kǔn-eeze)

Every once in a while, I pause and consider, “I wonder how I sound to the Brits?” Sometimes I get very self-conscious and overly aware of the “shwa” that we’re famous for. I close my eyes and listen to the British and their various accents, and there is a certain cadence to their respective regions, and certain characteristics. Not too long ago, I had to record my cell phone message and when I heard the playback, I sounded embarrassingly “English” (I say “embarrassingly” because I have no business emulating others’ dictions). I immediately erased the message and put forth a concerted effort to reestablish my “Americanness,” enunciating and denunciating exactly where necessary.

I remember a long time ago, some people I knew compared French and German. They said that if someone insulted you in French and you’d thank them, whereas, a German might be saying, “I love you,” wherein you’d have a visceral urge to punch that person. I like to watch my host family watching our American television programs, and commenting on how they just can’t understand some of our English. I imagine we sound like we’re chewing when we’re talking, or that we’re quite loud. On the flip side, I seem to be absorbing the European English quite well, despite the occasional confused word that creeps into conversations, more of which I will write about in an entry all by itself.

I wonder if people look at me and give no thought to my presence, but when I speak, they are immediately drawn to misunderstand me, or as I think Bush said, “misunderestimate” me. Is the sound of my Amercanese off-putting or “lesser than” to the British or European ear? I am originally not from America so I hear things a little differently, despite my sameness. In Japan, Americanese sounds almost funny if you don’t speak the language (which I didn’t have a keen grasp of when I was a child). Yet, I had a general understanding of English because of my American father. Japanese call non-Japanese people “gaijin,” which means, “foreigner.” They shyly giggle at foreigners’ (especially Americans’) attempts to speak their language. Americans, on the other hand make fun of others’ languages in a way that almost puts any given ethnic group down.

So if the theory of “what goes around comes around” is true, then it is logical that I get some of that disdain back – “karma by proxy,” if you will. I don’t like to make fun of others’ languages because I was at the receiving end of learning “English” once upon a time; but in a shared system, I represent my country and embody any preconceived notions one may have to project. We, as a nation, have left a bad taste on the global arena as well, so it makes sense that we will need to be patient and hope that the image we leave behind is not so distasteful. On that note, President Obama is in London and I feel relieved that it’s him there, and not Bush. Everyone I’ve met here who I’ve had the occasion to discuss President Obama is really enthusiastic and upbeat about our new president. His Americanese passes muster, and my place in this universe has been vindicated. After eight years of hearing Bushese and Bushisms, I have to say it’s music to my ears.