Yesterday, sources disclosed the presence of a new disease that has remained dormant for millennia, which has affected the population of the westernised world. Named after an entire generation, Spumous Idiopathic Narcosis (SIN) has been noted as being responsible for the pervasive irrational selfishness and morose malingering that have erupted everywhere. Disfigurement of inner beauty is one of the first symptoms to appear, which often presents itself with severe denial and outward bursts turned to blame and deflection. SIN is almost 100% fatal, but with a disciplined regimen of aggressive treatment, it is 100% curable if those afflicted agree to the painful administering of hard graft.
The root cause of SIN has been linked to an anomaly of the affected brain's inability to process more than one piece of information at a time, and this generates an overwhelming paralysis of thought processes. Sufferers report a gross overestimation and miscalculation of self-importance. Recently classified as a perceptive disorder, the long-terms ramifications of this disease are far-reaching, as all strata of the social hierarchy are affected, except for individuals earning a minimum of £125,000 per annum (as long as the requisite inflated egos are left unchecked).
The hierarchical domino effects of SIN can leave entire communities paralysed, incapacitated, disaffected, neglected, and isolated, without hope, and prone to religious conversion, petty crimes, and recreational drug use.
Currently, scientists, physicians, social welfare systems, preachers, correctional facilities, ambulance chasers, PPI call centres, pharmaceutical corporations, drug dealers, lifelong criminals, and vocal advocates of reform, such as Jeremy Kyle, Jerry Springer, and Judge Judy have worked against one other to exploit SIN and create niche markets to best address doing nothing, and steering blame onto inept and corrupt political and corporate entities that have failed both the individual and the larger construct of society--all of which have been affected by SIN.
Solve this riddle and you'll get the jackpot: life.
